The application of Free Time and Struggle

There are two blessings about which most people are cheated: health and spare time," (Sahih Bukhari vol.8 no.421).

I've been thinking about this hadith alot lately. Since finishing university successfully Alhumdulilah, I have had more free time and spending it in the way of Allah (swt) is something I really want to do but at the same time time difficult, its almost a constant battle to avoid other distractions, wasting time on things that are not beneficial and even just the thoughts within!

I know who I want to be, but becoming 'her' is hard. I know I want to become more knowledgeable , and Alhumdulilah I have been but applying knowledge can be difficult. But surely that is not an excuse?

So my plan up until Ramadan 2010:
Tomorrow I am signing up for a 2 week intensive Tajweed course, following that I start a 'Wonders of the Heart.' The outline of this course is very exciting!

"There is nothing closer to you than yourself. If you don't know your self, how will you know others? You might say, "I know myself," but you are mistaken.... The only thing you know about your self is your physical appearance. The only thing you know about your inside, is that when you are hungry you eat, when you are angry, you fight, and when you are consumed by passion, you make love. In this regard you are equal to any animal. You have to seek the reality within yourself.... What are you? Where have you come from and where are you going. What is your role in the world? Why have you been created? Where does your happiness lie? If you would like to know yourself, you should know that you are created by two things. One is your body and your outer appearance (zahir) which you can see with your eyes. The other is your inner forces (batin). This is the part you cannot see, but you can know with your insight. The reality of your existence is in your inwardness. Everything is a servant of your inward heart." 

The last sentence and first sentence got me! It is very true, that the closest thing to 'us' is 'ourselves,' yet how much do we actually know about ourselves? My interpretation of the last sentence is that if for example you love your spouse sincerely with your heart, than your actions will naturally follow this inward affection. This sentence could be applied to all sorts of behaviour. Its quite fascinating really, that which you hold close to your heart will be reflected in your deeds, and even thoughts. So the question I ask, if we as Muslims really hold Islam close to our hearts than surely it would be reflected in our thoughts and actions?

http://www.muslimhands.org/en/gb/our_work/its_my_project/orphans_village/ http://www.justgiving.com/orphanvillage

These above links is what the fee to the course is going towards, please pass on if you can! Jazakallah khair

(I'm really looking forward to this course now, Inshallah! Will keep my only follower updated on what I learn, Inshallah!)