Parents and family

'Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: My Lord! Bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood,' (17:23).

Parents take care of you, they never really stop. Its a difficult thing doing the same in return. It is much easier sometimes to be nicer to a stranger than you own parents or family. Especially at times of stress, like exams, it is very easy to lash out at parents or mutter under your breath or wish you even lived somewhere else. I have began to understand the nature of this verse in Qu'ran. Parents get older, its inevitable and we get older with them, its almost role reversal now we have to take care of them along with all our other responsibilities, job, spouse, children, etc. Indeed parents nurture us so much when we are young and vulnerable. 

I have noticed that if I can conquer - perhaps conquer isn't the right word but if I can treat my parents and family with more respect, more love and have patience with them all and vice versa and bite my tongue more often than the reward from Allah (swt) must be so great Alhumdulilah!

Narrated 'Abdullah: I asked the prophet (swt) 'Which deed is the dearest to God?' He replied, ' to offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times. ' I asked, 'what is the next (in goodness)?' He replied, 'to be good and dutiful to your parents,' (Bukhari).

It is a hard task this, but it can be done. Living in a Western society it seems almost apart of the culture to be rude and intolerable towards parents and family, especially as every soap opera dramatises every small argument, from slamming doors, to shouting down the stairs (and saying things like 'I wish you weren't my mother / father,' or 'I hate you'). Watching these kind of overdramatic programmes poses an ideolgy that we as people will get used to and likely to adopt.

An increasing elder generation with no one to look after but them but the nursing home. I think this is a very sad reality. Why I love Islam so much? Its clear to me how Allah (SWT) has defined each of our roles, how these roles complement each other and how they support the structure of society. A family is like the internal frame of a very strong building (society), each individual a pillar in their own right, if one is weak, the other pillars will bear the weight, however if too many pilllars across an entire street are weak the more likely there will be a disaster of some sort. Islam provides soloutions and outlines clearly how one should behave and think, which brings me to another topic...